Hurry up and wait is the current story of my life. Rush to get into the parent pickup line, then wait while teens saunter to cars filled with other rushing parents. Rush to the airport, then wait because the plane isn’t even there yet.

I generally make notes while I wait, and the tone of those messages is greatly impacted by the music choice I’ve made that day. Hollow Coves and worship music produce calm and thoughtful words, while The Beastie Boys might lead to firm or cynical words.

My notes usually go somewhere later – logged in a contact management system, pasted into a journal, or sent in an email. But occasionally I open my notes and find that my screen is full of oddball entries that had nowhere to go. They are just mini-rants from days I did not choose peace, or my crankypants notes.

1. My box of Raisinettes has never made it through the previews. Also, $5 for a box of Raisinettes is highway robbery, so I will continue to buy movie candy at Target and sneak it into the theater.

2. The time for living my best life is half over. I will waste none of it eating asparagus or honeydew, wearing a bra that’s uncomfortable, or drinking cheap wine.

3. When you’re young, bras can be cute or sexy. When you’re old, bras have a job to do.

4. Top 3 things that are not going to work for me: places without AC, anything starting after 8 pm, and people who don’t choose my girls or put my girls first.

5. In a presentation about growth optimization, I will spend a dumb amount of time thinking that I missed the opportunity to establish evenly distributed growth of menopause pounds.

6. Value propositions aren’t just important at work, when reviewing contracts and partnerships. We need to fully understand what we and others bring to the table. And then not waste time.

7 Pruning is a critical component of growth.

8. Grief photos don’t include makeup; those are called sadfishing photos.

9. If it takes alcohol for you to get up and dance, just don’t dance. It’s not good.

10. If someone who deals with criminals tells you “(person) has done some of the shadiest shit I’ve ever seen,” what level of shady even is that? It turns out there’s a name for it: white collar shady. Won’t the real shady please stand up?

Emus are one of the dumbest birds on the planet. I guess the message in that is time spent being a crankypants is when we’re at our dumbest.