What Spills Out

For every awful thing I can name that's upset our world, there are at least a dozen related things for which to be thankful. For every negative way our lives have been impacted, at least a dozen positives or silver linings. For every mean girl, at least a dozen kind girls. For every disappointment, at…

Compass or Baggage

Love is never ever ever selfish. Love is never present when there are excuses or narratives or explanations. Love does not coexist with those things. Love is black and white in terms of its presence. It's either evident or it is absent. If a person's behavior is selfish, the only love involved is the individual's…

Help Me To See

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been focused on this mantra: God, help me to see what you want me to see. A speaker at a retreat I attended shared that she’s been starting her day that way, and it stuck with me. God, help me to see what you want me to see.…

Forty-Six

When I was younger I used to wonder what life would be like when I was 20 and then 30 and then 40. Although not as often because life is just a little too chaotic, I still sometimes daydream about what life will be like 10 years from now and 20 years from now. I…

Oh Good Lord

I sat with my Mom at lunch today and thought OH GOOD LORD over and over and over again. It's Mother's Day and I wanted us to have a nice lunch with good conversation and then all these things - MomLife - kept happening. The wait time was going to be 45 minutes, someone didn't…

There Is Only One Me

There is only one me. I say it all the time in my head when there’s just too much. I occasionally say it out loud when multiple people are talking to me at the same time. There is only one me. I can only be in one meeting at a time, in one place at…

Refurbish, Brave Girl

I hate messes. I don’t like sand in my car, I don’t like PlayDough that gets stuck in toys supposedly designed for PlayDough, I don’t buy glitter or powder or terrariums if I can help it, and I don’t like substances like Desitin or vegetable oil that are really hard to clean off of things.…

Melancholy Mom Notes to My Girls

When you are sad or hurting it breaks my heart. I would rather feel the pain of someone smashing a limb of my own than watch you struggle. Watching you struggle and knowing the reason why fills me with sadness and regret. And it motivates me to do absolutely everything possible to make the remainder…

What Do *I* Know About Love?

Our family lit the advent candles at church this morning, and in a perfect representation of our life right now, the whole thing was a little messy. Perhaps the most funny thing is that I couldn't even operate the lighter - the culmination of a week of messiness. A week of frustrating Christmas picture attempts,…