Home

What makes a home is very simple: love and safety. Safety to be your whole self and to say anything, while knowing without a shadow of a doubt that you will always be unconditionally loved by the people there. It’s true when you’re 5 and when you’re 75. Home can be a house, apartment, tent,…

Love, Genuinely

When I was a young girl I heard my first real bit of advice about love, and it went something like this: if you read 1 Corinthians 13 and cannot replace the word love with a special someone’s name, then that’s not your person. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it…

I Believe

My youngest is eight years old and all throughout this season I’ve been a bit melancholy. I suspect this is the last Christmas where she’ll believe in Santa, and it makes me a little sad. I’m frankly surprised we made it to this age with that magic intact. In years ahead there will still be…

Compass or Baggage

Love is never ever ever selfish. Love is never present when there are excuses or narratives or explanations. Love does not coexist with those things. Love is black and white in terms of its presence. It's either evident or it is absent. If a person's behavior is selfish, the only love involved is the individual's…

What is Winning?

  You win. #winning. Win-Win. What does it mean to win? Outside of sports, where there are clearly defined rules and generally a person or team has a better score, what does it mean to win? Search Twitter for #winning and you’ll quickly see that winning is political and we have redefined it as proving…

Melancholy Mom Notes to My Girls

When you are sad or hurting it breaks my heart. I would rather feel the pain of someone smashing a limb of my own than watch you struggle. Watching you struggle and knowing the reason why fills me with sadness and regret. And it motivates me to do absolutely everything possible to make the remainder…

What is Love, Actually?

This is easy: it's something about Hugh Grant. Just kidding. I don't really think it's Hugh Grant, but at the same time I'm not sure I have the ability to help children understand the answer to that question - at least as it relates to big people being in true love. It's a subject I’ve…

What Do *I* Know About Love?

Our family lit the advent candles at church this morning, and in a perfect representation of our life right now, the whole thing was a little messy. Perhaps the most funny thing is that I couldn't even operate the lighter - the culmination of a week of messiness. A week of frustrating Christmas picture attempts,…