Thoughts Throughout a Day

…in no particular order, all over the place just like my brain this week.

An apology without change is just manipulation. (credit: unknown Pinterest person)

Some people are more worried about what others think of them, how they are perceived by others, than they are about what kind of people they actually are. These people will never be committed to anything or anyone more than they are committed to self and their narrative.

If you’ve built a narrative for a situation, you are the villain and not the victim.

Intimacy requires spiritual unity. I had forgotten this.

Politics and policies are argued by the privileged, who, because of their resources, largely don’t have to live with any of the consequences of their stance. They don’t worry about not having health care or what they’ll do if their daughter becomes pregnant because of a rapist – they have the ability and access to “fix” those things. The masses, who have limited or no resources, are left to live with the results of the discussions of the privileged.

The Redemption Project with Van Jones really moves me.

Click Here for a Redemption Project promo.

Some people deserve the death penalty. It is unfairly meted out in our society, and until or unless we can fix that it shouldn’t be imposed. There are more people living in suburbia who deserve the death penalty than there are sitting on death rows who will be impacted by it.

Collateral damage is the “unexpected, unintentional, and/or unavoidable losses accompanying or following an accident or failure.” In real life it is a nurse at urgent care, seemingly tending her own old wound that still needs healing, who grabs your hand and says, “People just don’t think.” In real life it is a child’s friend who is now afraid when her parents argue, and it’s also the parents of that child.

Still thinking about the validity of this thought: People who can’t really look at themselves in a mirror are the ones who most often post selfies.

Why are SO many people running for President?

Hospitals see humans at their absolute best and their absolute worst. At birth and at death, and in all the messiness in between.

There are really good people filling hospitals all around the world. People struggling for breath even though they’ve positively impacted the lives of thousands of people. At the same time, there are people who’ve hurt others that are making plans for the weekend. This life is sometimes seemingly unfair – seemingly” because people who’ve hurt others and whose lives are filled with narratives can never really rest in security. Not in this life or the next.

Healing happens in hospitals, but it also happens on country roads, when your windows are rolled down and your music is loud.

Freedom…Freedom…You got to give what you take…Freedom. Hold on to my freedom…

Writing in a gratitude journal is an important exercise because it keeps me focused on the most important things. Going back to read old entries in my gratitude journal is even more important because it brings equanimity to my thoughts in a matter of moments.

I recently found the Bible I used during my teens and twenties. It’s filled with highlighted lines and earmarked pages. The forty-five year old me scanning what’s underlined easily sees this was the resource of an anxious young woman who made many, many mistakes. I am so thankful to find a book with pieces of my story – pieces of me – that I’d forgotten. It’s documentation of my progress in some areas and my lack of progress in others.

When I’m a big girl, a real adult, I want to publish a book. I’m writing pieces now, but they need to get much, much better. The pieces are like the daily training runs in preparation for a marathon.

Should I change my kitchen cabinets from white to blue?

Fatigue caught up with me today. That always happens when danger passes.

I’m going to keep being me. She’s not perfect, but I like her.

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