Brave, Anyway

Tag: faith

  • Mid-Life

    Mid-Life

    There are five basic stages of life: child, teenager, adult, mid-life, and old. Not all of these stages have clear parameters in my brain, but as I am not yet retired, I am not yet old. So that puts me firmly in mid-life. Or so I thought, until my old boss pointed out that mid-life is not 50 unless people live to be 100. I’m 53 years into life, and math has never once made my day better.

    I don’t know that I ever gave much thought to midlife before now. As a kid, I couldn’t wait to be a teenager. As a teenager, I couldn’t wait to be an adult. And once I became an adult, life became a whirlwind of career, kids, responsibilities, and deadlines. The only thing I have really looked ahead to and planned for is the retirement years. But it turns out, these midlife years aren’t just flyover states on the way to old age. They’re actually a pretty awesome destination all on their own.

    The girls are older, and more and more they have their own lives. And that means for the first time in two decades, I have the time and freedom to do and explore things simply because I want to. I’m learning what it feels like to be Beth again, not just someone’s mom.

    I have to snap because my girls snap, but mid-life me does it from my antique rocker. This should be called the Take On Me filter.

    I’m increasingly convinced that this stage is a very important part of God’s plan for our lives. It’s not a winding down, but more of a commissioning. Life experience plus the unique gifts God gives each of us plus time equals our ability to do the work only we can do.

    Maybe that’s why this season of life feels so good, with so much added energy and joy. I’m no longer chasing the next destination. I’m growing into the person God has been shaping all along.

    At the same time, mid-life is not for the weak if you’re a girl. Seriously, we carry and birth the babies, and then we’re rewarded with not one, but two stages of menopause? Midlife is spiritually rich, emotionally freeing, and hormonally outrageous.

    In the midst of all the mid-life awesomeness, there are these kinds of thoughts each day.

    AARP is not for mid-life, it is for old age. Stop sending me mail. If you want me to sign up in this stage of life, one of your discounts should be with Dominion Power so AC can be cheaper. I need lots and lots of AC and it costs lots and lots of money.

    If I’m in the ER at 2 a.m. struggling to remember basic information, it’s because I’m a morning person and this is not my best time of day. Midlife patients need nurses who understand this. And if I joke that I don’t need a dementia test, that’s your cue to laugh. I don’t care if it’s fake.

    When my car needs service, I should be able to Google Toyota on Laskin Road and get a human. Or even a bot. Instead, I call three different numbers asking for Ken, and no one can find my record. AI can break into government websites, explain complicated science things, and enable political folks to create stupid images, but what it really needs to know is which Toyota dealership I mean.

    Stages of life in my back yard this summer!

    I spent the first half of life becoming a grown-up. Even now, I’m still the middle schooler who laughs at inappropriate jokes. Somehow, God has taken all the pieces of me that never seemed to go together and fit them into something beautiful. Mid-life is where you finally start to see the puzzle come together, and it’s so much better than I ever imagined.

  • A New Year

    A New Year

    My word for 2026 is commitment. Unlike 2025 when I struggled to hear a word, this one came to me months ago. Seemingly a follow-up or wrap-up of things that have been on my heart for a few years now. 

    This year’s word is specifically about the commitments God makes to us. Commitments we can rely on, should rely on, and need to rely on. Relying on them takes faith and obedience, and what’s on my heart is that in the months ahead will be fulfillment of some of the commitments He placed in my heart and reminded me of in dark moments.

    I’m unusually excited heading into this year. Even though there are some stressful things lingering around, I find myself suddenly joyful throughout each day. Noticing small things, noticing big things, in the quiet and in the noise.

    I’ve discovered and am obsessed with mashups of Stayin’ Alive.

    I’m enjoying Lysa Terkeurst’s 40 Days Through the Bible and the questions she poses each day.

    I’ve even delved into house tasks I typically push off and groan about (why are new toilets so expensive?!), and checking all sorts of things off my list.

    I am expectant. And I really have no idea why, other than I just feel it.

    And I am happy. Silly and giddy happy.

    Loving a new painting of the Appalachians that I picked up.

    Adopting a new guideline for Breaking News and teenage antics: on a scale of 50 Cent to Jesus, how should I respond to this?

    Snapping pictures of a bathroom sign that said Wash your hands: Jesus and germs are everywhere you go.

    I’ve been trying to talk myself out of being expectant, and the word commitment. I guess maybe because I want to have realistic expectations and not be disappointed.

    But then this morning I was up early and headed to a workshop. It was 60 degrees and fog hung low over the fields on my drive up country roads. An eagle caught my eye to the left. He flew over me, then in front of me, and then stayed about 100 feet ahead of me for a good 10 minutes of my ride. Having to fly slower than he normally would. Flying lower than he normally would. Seemingly wanting me to follow him. Showing me the way. Or maybe reassuring me I’m on the right path.

    That’s when I decided I was going to write down that I am expecting. The 2026 chapter is going to be called prayers answered.

  • All Saints Day

    All Saints Day

    All Saints Day always scared me as a child. The sound of each bell tolling as names were solemnly read aloud.

    Death was scarier then, in the fire and brimstone of 1980s end-of-the-world preaching about the wide path that leads to destruction and billboards that asked me where I would go if I died tonight. As a teenager and young adult it sometimes felt like I would never be good enough to get into heaven.

    Today I’m thankful for age and life experience, which bring understanding and perspective. And also peace. God loves us. Nothing we do can change that, no matter how badly we might behave. We all sin, and we can’t let ourselves be tricked into thinking God doesn’t love us. And we can’t let those things convince us we aren’t good enough – good enough to be saved, good enough to be a light for Him, good enough to fulfill a purpose.

    As a child I thought the 12 disciples and all the Bible greats were super holy people. What a relief to realize that they were ordinary people. People with jobs and families. People who did some sketchy things. People like us.

    One of my favorite scriptures is in Hebrews, describing the great cloud of witnesses – the saints – that surrounds us. The New English Translation is my favorite: Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, we must get rid of every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and run with endurance the race set out for us.

    In the last couple of years, this scripture has started meaning more as I think about those who’ve gone on to heaven. Who are in my great cloud of witnesses. All Saints Day is about remembering those who have passed, but also those who have influenced our faith. Like my Dad who prayed with us and for us every day. My grandparents and Aunt and Uncles who set examples for me, encouraging love for church and service and learning. Cameron, an unexpected blessing who loved so big and felt things so deeply.

    They’ve shaped my faith, my laughter, my forgiveness, my politics, my love. My hope, my will, my strength, my courage, my empathy. My eternity.

    The Saints corner in my sitting room. Hats, uniforms and pictures of some of my saints, some in heaven now and some still here in this life.
  • Starting My Day

    Starting My Day

    Father, I thank you for today and I ask you to help me today. Help me to do your will in all things, act like your child, and be a good citizen and representative of your kingdom. Help me to stay on your straight and narrow path, and not stray into sin traps and mud puddles. Help me to steer clear of reasoning, people-pleasing and pride, and fear, anxiety and worry.

    I thank you that this is the day that you have made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. I believe the love that you have for me and I expect great things today. I thank you for supernatural favor everywhere I go and in everything I do. Traveling, in the car, with family and friends, with my clients, bosses, colleagues and team.

    I thank you for your promise in Acts 16:31 that everyone in my household is saved. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved, you and your household.

    I ask for your hedge of protection around, over, and under me and my family. I pray that we won’t break any bones or have any accidents and I thank you that everyone in my household is cancer, disease, condition and addiction free. Cancer and diseases cannot take root in us and they cannot prosper in us. in any way, shape, form or fashion.

    I pray Psalm 91 over and I plead the blood of Jesus over (all family names).

    We who dwell in the secret place of the most high, shall abide under the shadow of the almighty. We will say of you Lord, you are our refuge and our strength. Out God in whom we can trust…Under your wings we shall take refuge. You will be with us in trouble. With long life you will satisfy us and show us your salvation.

    Psalm 91

    I lift up everyone on my teams, and (teammates’) teams. I pray that we make good decisions and act like good leaders, that we find success in all we do, and for our physical and mental health.

    I pray in accordance with your word, and in agreement with many other people, for complete and total healing for (names of little cancer fighters). I thank you for their complete and total healing, for their long life and salvation, and that they do not have any short, long or late term side effects of their treatment course.

    And finally, I lift up all these folks. You know the needs in their lives. I pray above all for their relationship with you, but also for their healing – spiritually, mentally, physically and in every area of their lives. (Names on my phone list, on the church prayer list, friends and family and neighbors, church leaders.)

  • Summer Summer Summer Time

    Summer Summer Summer Time

    I needed a little summer. Sleeping in later because no one has to be at school. Noses with freckles. BLTs with fresh tomatoes and dripping Miracle Whip.

    Except I hate the hot. I love all places with AC and fans and iced green tea. Middle aged women need the chill of fall evenings 24/7, every day of the year.

    Henry was so happy to have Ella home. While he loves anyone and everyone who will feed him, Ella is his favorite person. Also, a 19 pound cat is not an overweight cat – it’s a cat living his best life.

    Henry Fonda loves Ella Hope

    I loved the Olympics. The stories of resilience and sacrifice. I’m a softie old Mom now so I wanted every kid from every country to win. I cheered loudly at the TV when they did. I also shed a few tears when they didn’t. Nothing on The Hallmark Channel makes me cry. Everything about the Olympics makes me cry.

    The only thing funnier than Snoop Dog commentary at the Olympics is Snoop narrating Planet Earth videos.

    Audrey’s summer look was very similar to her winter look: side eye with a Starbucks pink drink in her hand. I threw out my strict rule about bikinis at 13 because I love watching her walk with confidence into the water park, completely uncaring of the scar on her abdomen.

    Pink Pink Pink Everything

    I think I finished filling an old but refinished toolbox for my family room – a box of tools that have helped me adapt, gave me guidance, or enabled me to fix things over the years. It has pieces from family near and far, from earth to heaven, that will always guide me with the hard work.

    The teddy bear has my Dad’s voice in it saying God Bless You while the locket was worn by my Mama when my Papa was fighting somewhere in Europe during WWII.

    It’s been over a year since the girls lost their Dad. They’d hoped to get the Dad gifts they’d given him over the years, maybe the disc golf disks they dyed with him, a couple of sweatshirts. Nope. Apparently some kinds of grief are so intense that it leads to redecorating instead of getting children a shirt that smells like their Dad.

    I stopped watching news. I still read news every day from a variety of sources to make sure there’s balance, but I will no longer click on stories about candidates for any office. This election is basically a repeat of the last one, and I’m not sure why we’re all behaving as if people are going to make different choices. Not filling my brain with “news” has done wonders for my hope and faith in humanity.

    VCU’s School of Nursing had 140 slots this year, and Ella was offered one. Watching your child find the thing that makes them happy, work toward that goal, and then achieve a huge step toward that goal is a whole new level of joy. At the same time, her anatomy final taught me never to seek her advice about any shoulder injuries.

    Ella got into the School of Nursing!

    This summer we saw anxiety then healing. Sadness then happiness. Chaos then rest. Faith then miracles. I shed no tears when I left Ella at VCU yesterday. In fact, my smile was so big. I walked away thanking God for who she’s becoming and for all of our progress and blessings. We all needed the healing of this summer and now we are stepping into the glory He promised.