Mid-Life

There are five basic stages of life: child, teenager, adult, mid-life, and old. Not all of these stages have clear parameters in my brain, but as I am not yet retired, I am not yet old. So that puts me firmly in mid-life. Or so I thought, until my old boss pointed out that mid-life is not 50 unless people live to be 100. I’m 53 years into life, and math has never once made my day better.

I don’t know that I ever gave much thought to midlife before now. As a kid, I couldn’t wait to be a teenager. As a teenager, I couldn’t wait to be an adult. And once I became an adult, life became a whirlwind of career, kids, responsibilities, and deadlines. The only thing I have really looked ahead to and planned for is the retirement years. But it turns out, these midlife years aren’t just flyover states on the way to old age. They’re actually a pretty awesome destination all on their own.

The girls are older, and more and more they have their own lives. And that means for the first time in two decades, I have the time and freedom to do and explore things simply because I want to. I’m learning what it feels like to be Beth again, not just someone’s mom.

I’m increasingly convinced that this stage is a very important part of God’s plan for our lives. It’s not a winding down, but more of a commissioning. Life experience plus the unique gifts God gives each of us plus time equals our ability to do the work only we can do.

Maybe that’s why this season of life feels so good, with so much added energy and joy. I’m no longer chasing the next destination. I’m growing into the person God has been shaping all along.

At the same time, mid-life is not for the weak if you’re a girl. Seriously, we carry and birth the babies, and then we’re rewarded with not one, but two stages of menopause? Midlife is spiritually rich, emotionally freeing, and hormonally outrageous.

In the midst of all the mid-life awesomeness, there are these kinds of thoughts each day.

AARP is not for mid-life, it is for old age. Stop sending me mail. If you want me to sign up in this stage of life, one of your discounts should be with Dominion Power so AC can be cheaper. I need lots and lots of AC and it costs lots and lots of money.

If I’m in the ER at 2 a.m. struggling to remember basic information, it’s because I’m a morning person and this is not my best time of day. Midlife patients need nurses who understand this. And if I joke that I don’t need a dementia test, that’s your cue to laugh. I don’t care if it’s fake.

When my car needs service, I should be able to Google Toyota on Laskin Road and get a human. Or even a bot. Instead, I call three different numbers asking for Ken, and no one can find my record. AI can break into government websites, explain complicated science things, and enable political folks to create stupid images, but what it really needs to know is which Toyota dealership I mean.

I spent the first half of life becoming a grown-up. Even now, I’m still the middle schooler who laughs at inappropriate jokes. Somehow, God has taken all the pieces of me that never seemed to go together and fit them into something beautiful. Mid-life is where you finally start to see the puzzle come together, and it’s so much better than I ever imagined.