There’s actually a reward for being someone who focuses on self, and that’s that everyone around those types of folks expects very little of them.
One of the greatest unfairnesses is that the people who hurt others are not the ones who handle the fallout or cleanup – they don’t ever see or experience the vast majority of the pain or of the healing process for those they hurt. The hard work, the help with recovery that takes days and weeks and months and years, is always done by others. It’s done by the consistent ones. The responsible ones. The ones who can.
The privilege of being a helper comes with the burden of being a witness. If only there were a statute of limitations on pain. If only you could promise those hurting a clear deadline for pain’s demise.